Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
