You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize