idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
