Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
