I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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