My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I think pants incapable of making pants work
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
