is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
