i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Randomize
