Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He kissed a someone with a penis
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
