C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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