I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
