Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
