when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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