Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
zippers are such a cool invention
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
