Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
