I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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