i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
