out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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