I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
