Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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