I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
