Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
