He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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