She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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