Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
