i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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