i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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