Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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