I wish I could teleport
someone get that fucking seahorse.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize