WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I love having hate sex.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
