Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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