i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
