There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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