Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
