So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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