Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
