i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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