I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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