he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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