I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
