My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
