Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Randomize
