come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
