Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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