Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize