I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
is wine microwaveable?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
