How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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