I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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