She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize