How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
