they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
