I wish I could punch you in the face.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
My balls are so social today.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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