Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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