Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
