I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
