I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
