Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
