Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
