I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
