the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
