I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
