We're like a lot better than the average bears
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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