I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
