Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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