You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
