Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize