Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
