That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize