Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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