You really coming over, don't trick.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
