We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
