He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
