At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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