Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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